Alicia van Borssum’s journey through loss, learning to swim, and finding peace beyond the shore.

Not long before my partner Brad died, we had made several promises: to finally get married; to learn ballroom dancing; to live on the water; to learn to swim properly (for me) and play golf properly (for him).

He had just retired when he had a heart attack and died in my arms on our kitchen floor. I was devastated. The grief had profound impacts on my life. I quit my job because I didn’t want to die like that, having worked since I was a teen just to succumb when I was finally able to enjoy living freely without the obligations of a career. Then came Covid while I was still in the depths of despair, and we all know how hard that was to navigate. When public pools finally reopened, I started going to water aerobics classes. Regular trips to the pool gave me a routine and got me back in water.

I have always loved water. I grew up on Galveston Island, a barrier island on the Texas coast of the Gulf of Mexico. We could see (and hear, and smell) the water from our house just a few blocks from the beach. We all learned to swim in a pool–me and my eight siblings–holding on to our dad’s shoulders until we were comfortable enough to let go and swim by ourselves. We went to the beach often to go crabbing, look for shells, jump over the waves, build sandcastles, collect driftwood, and body surf. Although I was always in the water, I never learned the official swim strokes. I had a pretty strong breaststroke/dog paddle and I’ve felt confident swimming for most of my life. But I really wanted to learn to swim properly.

I inquired and found out that the pool where I was doing water aerobics also provided adult swimming lessons. At 62 years old, I signed up and experienced a very humiliating first lesson when I could not swim half the length of a 25 yard pool front crawl. I was adamant that I would improve, and I did, a very little bit at a time.

Which brings me to open water swimming, finally! A book by Tom Vanderbilt, Beginners: The Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong Learning was recommended by a friend. Vanderbilt mentions learning about open water swimming holidays and how much he enjoys them. That led me immediately (and over-ambitiously) to book a trip with a friend for SwimQuest open water swimming in Croatia. By the way, neither of us had any experience swimming outdoors!

Although we swam in some lakes the summer before our September swimming holiday, we were woefully unprepared for the distance of the Croatia swims. In true swimming holiday style, the swim guides were patient and encouraging. We swam as much as we could and got back on the boat when we just couldn’t swim any more. Our boat of slow swimmers was affectionately dubbed “the dream team.” I found the experience to be so healing of my grief over losing Brad. I could finally truly enjoy something and find peace for a little while. Swimming was a magical escape from the weight of pervasive grief.

I wondered why swimming in the ocean had that effect. It was such a mystery to me. I read all the books I could on the subject and especially enjoyed the ones written by women like: Why We Swim by Bonnie Tsui, Lynn Sherr’s Swim: Why We Love the Water, Catherine Kelley’s Blue Spaces: How and Why Water Makes Us Feel Better, and Leap In by Alexandra Heminsley. I even read articles in academic journals. Although I loved the books and articles, none really adequately explained why open water swimming was healing me from such a low point in my life.

Every six months since the first trip, I take a swimming holiday. So far, in addition to Croatia, I have been to Greece (twice!), Oman, and Turkey. The trip to Turkey was especially meaningful. Out of nine swimmers on an October holiday on the Turquoise Coast, it turns out four of us were widows. We learned about each other little by little, as you do on a swimming holiday. One swimmer said that she finally felt alive for the first time since losing her husband when she went open water swimming. Another said she was lost for quite a while in shock and grief before she began swimming regularly in the ocean. A third, a young woman, was pursuing open water swimming for meditative purposes since she couldn’t do yoga with the same sort of mindfulness as before her husband died. The fourth was me, mysteriously soothed by water without understanding why. Except now I do. The solace I find in the ocean is shared by my sisters in grief who are swimming ourselves back to life.

____

SwimQuest Turkey – click here 
SwimQuest Croatia – click here

Unsure or trying out your first swimming holiday? Contact us and we can have a chat about what may suit you best.